my new home

things, they are a changing...and my bloglife is not uneffected.
i have started a new blog... ahoy!friend 

this has been a wonderful space for me and i am glad that i will always have this to look back on.
but i am done complaining...or at least done having a space that is especially devoted to it.
so i hope you will follow me to the new place.

thanks for letting me bitch :)


in case you were wondering...

mama and i have worked one of the biggest, fullest storage unit known to man.
if all of this stuff was in her house she would certainly be a candidate for an episode of hoarders.
in her defense this is all stuff that fit into our previous house.
and she isn't opposed to getting rid of some of it.
in fact, that is exactly what we are doing.
i came down for the weekend with the intentions of being here for my cousin's prom and heading back to arkansas on sunday or monday (i left b and the mutts there).
but my mom has been trying for quite some time to go through all this stuff so that she can have a garage sale.
so, since i am unemployed and in need of something productive to do i signed on to help.
sunday we worked from about 10:00  to 5:00ish.
monday we worked from 9:00ish to 4:30.
tuesday we worked from 9:30ish to almost 7.
wednesday we worked from 9:30ish to about 2:30.
after we went through the last box we were done.
we left the place a bit of a mess.
i went back to arkansas last night.
b and i went to dinner in eureka springs (so freaking cute).
hung out with ryan, di and the boys today and then headed back to my parents.
tomorrow my mom and i are going to organize what is left in the storage unit, so she can get to the things she needs.
then tomorrow night i will go with her, my cousin and aunt to my gran's lodge's mother/daughter banquet that i can almost guarantee will be at some kind of a truck stop.
but it won't matter. gran is always happy to show her girls off.
i haven't been in years, with really no great excuse.
i am looking forward to it.
on saturday we will go back to kc.
i will try and see friends and spend some time with b before i leave on tuesday.
i am going to brooklyn to see my girl liz!
i also plan to see a dear friend from high school and one of my cousins and her kids.
i will be gone for two weeks.
b suggested, after the house news, that i go to see liz.
i had been thinking about using the money i made from selling my car to go see her.
i told b this, but he said it wasn't necessary, that he had rewards tickets.
i said that i would book it as soon as i talked to liz.
he told me he all ready talked to her and said she would probably have a 3 day weekend on may 13.
this guy is good.
on top of this momilla is shooting a wedding in the hamptons and then we will all get to hang out for a few days!!
due to the dates available to use the rewards tickets i will be going for two full weeks!
i am so looking forward to this and know that there are few people i could stay with for two weeks, but liz is one of them.  

this isn't quite how i thought i would spend my time off, but i also can't complain.

next week i will be writing you from brooklyn.
i doubt you are as excited about that as i am.
but i hope you are well...


greetings from arkansas

b and i headed down on tuesday night.
not even the threat of record rainfall and a partially collapsed road could keep us away.
it was time to get out of the city.
it was time to get down here and figure some shit out.
and it was time to relax a little and be reminded of why this is all worth it.

tuesday night it rained. but i was okay with that.
every now and then nothing can beat a good rain.
yesterday was drizzly mostly, with a little rain.
this was winston's first trip to the lake.
tuesday night we let him outside a few times and he would just do his business and come back in.
wednesday morning bryce let him out and he came back in.  then when i let him out later that morning he and luna decided to take a little stroll.
i decided not to freak out.
they are dogs.
luna always comes back and these two stick in a pack.
i convinced myself of this for about 5 minutes...then i put on my VFFs and took after them.
i had almost decided i wasn't going to find them, but when i turned around to head home i saw them run across the street, from the woods to a yard.
i started shaking winston's collar (it is metal) and he came running right for me.
i love that dogs are still excited by the idea of a walk when they are roaming open land.
(side note: some people think pronged choke collars are mean....clearly winnie disagrees)
this is wonderful as he has proven hard to catch in the city.
the hard part was that he was on one side of a barbed wire fence, and i was on the other.
i got his leash on him and then wrapped the handle around a fence post so i could walk around the fence and lead him out.
then me and the dogs jogged home.
after that winnie spent all of tuesday tied to the deck, inside or on walks WITH A LEASH.

this morning, after a pep talk from ryan, i decided to give him another chance.
winston and luna took off around 7:00am, when we let them out, and came home by 10:00am.
i can't explain the relief when he came trotting up those stairs.
i am so screwed when i have kids.
they came and went all day, but i am happy to announce that as i type this to you, sitting out back, under a sky of (visible) stars, my little buddy is totally exhausted and sleeping on his bed next to my chair.

we went to look at houses today. nothing to report. as in we didn't really see anything we liked.
this doesn't worry me as much as it makes me sad.

but i can't dote on that....this moment is far too nice for that.

i hope this finds you well.
thanks for all your kind words and silent support.
it really has meant so much to me.


well, f*&#

cue it up...

so last night before arcade fire someone made the joke that we weren't really leaving, that it was all a conspiracy for us all to hang out more.
well... that wasn't the plan, but sometimes you don't get what you want.

we got the second appraisal back on the house today and it came back low again.
it would be stupid to buy a home that is worth less than what you are paying for it.
we offered the sellers the price that the house appraised for and they chose not to take it.
so...here we are.
we don't know what we are doing.
we are looking for other houses, we are looking at lots.
we are thinking of renting there or what we will do in the short (possibly medium) term here.
we have options. and they all will be considered...
once the shock wears off.

right liz? (i love you)

the last few weeks i have done so many "kansas city" things with so many of my favorite people.
i have been so greatful for the time and love that my friends have given me.
it has been go bittersweet wrapping my mind around leaving.
and now the game has changed again and i don't know quite where that leaves me...

a few days ago i was working in the basement listening to the radio and the new death cab song came on.
it spoke to me then, but perhaps even more so now.

"and if you feel just like a tourist in the city you were born/then, it's time to go/and you find your destination with so many different places to call home"

what a strange place to be. i chose to leave somewhere i love. a life that i am happy with.
for the chance to be happier. to try something new.
to grow.
and when i finally get the balls to tell this city goodbye, it isn't the right time.

tomorrow:unpacking...at least the kitchen crap.

i guess she did say "wild and precious life"



not quite gone.
it is nice to have some extra time with friends.
and it doesn't hurt the packing side either.

so that is pretty much what i have been up to.
packing. some reading. lots of friends.

i took some more pictures for you.
this time in black and white for a more dramatic flair.
sorry if i am boring you with pictures of packing, but i am boring myself with packing.
at least you only have to look at the pictures.

OH! but i did accomplish quite a few unpacking related tasks today
1. found the arcade fire tickets that i suddenly realized i had no clue where they were (in a box)
2. gave missouri some tax money, which required finding a check book and an envelope (luckily they were both in the same box)
3. paid some billzzzz
4. bought a domain

that's right. there is a new baby on the way (and by baby i mean blog)....

until then, you get pictures....
e is for empty, to help me remember so i would stop opening each cabinet every 15 minutes

 how odd to be wrapping up your possessions in the obituaries of strangers...

 winston trying to be inconspicuous in bed

 remember these guys?
 these are all the boxes so far. not too bad considering this is all our kitchen crap, books, dvds, christmas decorations and my childhood toys and some other crap.

also, wtf is going on in the right window? this strange blurred out stuff.

i made this one bigger so you could see better. 
so bazaar.
if it is ghosts, or spirits or whatever i am glad i hadn't seen them until now.

time to make all you working folk proud and head outside for some reading and sunshine.
until next time...


today is the fourth day...

i wonder when i will stop counting the days...

on tuesday i was going to make a photo post of my packing.
when i didn't post them it carried on into wednesday.

this would be the house pre-cleaning on tuesday morning and winston.

the face of unemployment.

i went through all of my scarves and all though i have yet to wear one, i just can't let them go. 


eventually i will frame them or do something.
here are some favorites:

the dogs are ridiculously lazy. i can't believe i used to worry so much about them being bored when they were home alone.
i ignored winnie sleeping on the couch.
why should my change in schedule effect his?
luna loves her kennel.

b, getting his work on.

please note the clothes to empty hanger ratio. i had a lot of laundry to do.


then cleaning time

then it was time to set up for book club and enjoy the sun.
luna prefers hers in the planter boxes.

then book club happened. and it deserves it's own post.
but here are the ladies.
thanks for staying up way too late and drinking a little too much on a school night.

somehow i only have two pictures from book club.
i was having way too much fun to stop and take photos.

then came wednesday

so far today has consisted of this blog post, taking out the trash.
now i will move onto a shower, more laundry, some lunch and showing the vibe at 2:00.
fingers crossed.

it was beautiful and sunny that last few days.
today it is cooler and the sun is hidden.
every now and then it decides to rain.
i want it to storm.

hope you are well.


dubtf home buying.

b and i have been looking at houses for quite sometime in the kc area.
nothing ever was right. i don't think we even ever looked at a house a second time.
right before the decision to move to arkansas we finally started getting a little closer.
we weren't actively working with an agent, but i was stalking the internet.
we had finally decided that we wanted something with good bones that needed some love.
SOME love.
or was cheap enough to afford fired labor.
when we decided to move to the lake we were not able nor did we really want to be that picky.
we were looking in a very specific area. where there aren't a lot of homes to begin with. and the prices are all over the map.
and you pretty much have to be wanting to update a lake home that you plan to be your permanent residence.
so for location, price, size and layout we really love this house.
we had been by the house several times last summer.
on walks. runs. and 4 wheeler sides.
so when it was still on the market we decided we were interested.
ryan (b's bro) and di (his lovely wife) went to check it out for us.
then we went to look at it and there happened to be a ton of people at ryan and di's.
so we went and so did mere, ryan, di, nixon and will. when we went back later bill and julie (b's aunt and uncle) and his parents joined us.
everyone seemed pretty comfortable. so that is a good sign.
so then started the offer/counter offer process.
i would be no good at this, so i am glad that b. is the one in charge.
now we are waiting on loanshit.
the closing date didn't get adjusted on the contract after 10 days of going back and forth.
so we were set to close on the 11th. but that is still not final. it could be up to a week later.
so i may have quit my job one week early, but whatever.
loan crap is stressful.
ugh! grown up stuff!
i am so impatient!

in the mean time....anyone want to buy a vibe? PLEASE!