you know those master card commercials...where they add up the expenses of something and at the end the total is "priceless"?
well i have a similar thing going on...

gas, lodging, lift tickets, ski rentals....$500
ski coat...$250
stocking hat....$20
ski gloves...$40
food and drink...$100+
cost of going skiing with your boyfriend and two of your best friends on a crash three day trip to colorado?

i have only tried to ski once before, with my boyfriend in college.
it wasn't pretty.
i more or less threw myself down the hill (we were at snow creek) multiple times.
small children kept having to rescue my poor poles that i had ditched at some point in my graceless fall and bring them to me.
i don't remember ever enjoying it.
i do remember wanting to dump my boyfriend over it.
and being sore, pissed off and defeated.

fast forward to now.
b loves to ski. my friends love to ski.
colorado is the state next to us.
when the idea of a ski trip came up i was all ready resigned to the fact that i would have to learn at some point, so i might as well learn now.
decent attitude to have.
and you can't date b and not be willing to try new outdoor activities.
it just doesn't work.
plus ski trips have always sounded so fun.

and then somewhere along the planning, budgeting and buying shit loads of gear, i have started to loathe the ski trip.
even though b has been more than helpful when it comes to acquiring all the crap i need to try this new sport, i can't get past the money.
my, now annoyed, friends have assured me that i will love it and that this one time investment will yield year after year of ski trip goodness.

but above all there is that annoying naysayer in the back of my mind.
you know her- she hates trying new things, she only wants to do what she knows she is good at, she is closed minded and in general, if i let her out too often i would probably lose a lot of my friends.
that bitch kept me from cheesecake, karaoke, sushi, goat cheese, green bean casserole, water sports and has made me walk off many a dance floor.
and now skiing.

but alas, i cannot NOT go.

so i will go..
i will quit my bitching.
i will ski.
i will try my best.
i will have fun with my friends.
i will recover from the overnight drives.
i will not let that negativenancybitchface ruin my fun.

wish me luck!


ahhh nothing like the sweet, sweet sound of cars getting stuck in the intersection i live on.

first and foremost
i would like to hand out middle finger salutes to all the aholes leaving corperate woods and using the turn lane that is designated to put you in the turn lane for 435 west, when you aren't getting on 435 west.
you made a conscious decision to be a selfish ahole.
solid work. your mother would be proud.
i have you to thank for both my rage at sitting in front of my office for 15 mintues and all the explitives i spewed as i was stuck behind you as you tried to get into the lane that you should have been in in the first place.
thanks for only giving a shit about yourself.
you are awesome.

to both the the lady in the blazer, talking on the phone, smoking a cig, with her window down and music blaring like it was summer  
to the old man who refused to stop at any of the three red lights i watched him go through. 
high five!

so when i left the office, after sitting on the street my office building is on for 15 minutes (as noted above), i guesstimated that it would take me two hours to get home.
from corporate woods to the ku med area.
this drive usually takes me twenty  minutes
once i was on the highway people weren't being too shitty.
i had to get off and get gas, which sucked, but i would have had to stop anyway because my wipers were ice sickles.
since i was literally across the street from where my weight watchers meetings are, i decided i would drive by to see if they were open.
not open.
so then i drove the other 2 miles home.
i left work around 4:30 and walked in a little after six.

thank god it didn't take 2 hours.

so now that leaves me thinking about tomorrow.
it is 6:42. i put on my pajamas and slippers as soon as i walked in.
b is making mushroom risotto.
i am sitting on the couch, listening to the first arcade fire album
wishing i had a real fire going.
misssing snow days.

on a totally unrelated note i have found myself using more commas lately.
 what does it mean?

who cares? mama needs wine.


i am not totally convinced that there isn't going to be a major cataclysm in 2012.

i am not a scientist. i am not a scholar. i am not an expert.
hell, i am not even well read on most of this shit.
but even with out that knowledge (and perhaps even in spite of it) i feel like we are really screwed.
economically. politically. environmentally. socially.

i feel like things are so extreme.
people refuse to open their eyes to plain truths because they are too stubborn to be wrong.
even amongst friends we can rarely have an open dialog. instead it is a fight for who is right.
and no one ever wins the other one over.
why aren't we having conversations? coming to agreements and understandings?
and i don't mean trading evils.
i mean, if we can't do it as friends, how do we expect the thought leaders of the world to do it?

i am not a republican.
i am not a democrat.
i am an american.
i am scared for this country that i love.

and for these reasons, i have joined the no labels movement.

if i recommended a book to you would you read it?
if i gave you new music would you listen to it?

humor me and check out the declaration.
and let me know what you think.

thank you for reading, friend.


"so this is the new year and i don't feel any different"

i always though that was a bad thing, but this year i know that it isn't.

2009 was a good year for me and 2010 was even better.
so i go into 2011 (cautiously) optimistic.

so here it is. the 2010 rundown...
diets and lifestyle changes
losing 30 pounds
couch to 5k and learning to run again
nyc for liz's 30th birthday extravaganza
karaoke with a 8 foot tall drag queen
job interviews
taking bacon to her new home in indy
completing my first adventure race (running and biking) dressed as tom cruise in risky business
my 28th bday BBQ
31 days in a row of exercise
another summer of fun at the lake
luna's adorable puppy cut
holy 10 year high school reunion
working ridiculous hours at work
this is my heART show
b surprising me with my girl liz
one of the best weekends i can remember having
becoming a flexitarian
two years of  b and me
the autumn breeze festival
camping drinking at truman lake for b's birthday
seeing real life LARPers and laughing until i thought i was going to puke at renfest
my first time back to pittsburgh in 20 years
seeing our old neighbors, neighborhood and house
it is just as pretty as i remember it
most of my ladies turning 30 and each of their unique and fitting celebrations
kel's dance party madness
amanda's lake house pinata party
h. neighby's huge house party
mo's surprise dinner
jilly's 31st at the royals game
going to mexico and meeting all of our fabulous vacation friends
snorkeling with sea turtles
horse face and mullet guy
our newest addition- winston aka keith stone aka little buddy aka badger
he can wag his tail in a circle
landing my new job
leaving penton
an amazing friend's thanksgiving
a relaxing thanksgiving day of aladdin cafe and harry potter
joining a new gym
dinners with my high school ladies
sarah having little johnny ( i can't wait to get my hands on this little guy)
seeing gretchy blissfully happy and moving to malaysia 
finally going to b's childhood home
thinking that this would be the saddest christmas on record for my family
and the complete opposite happening
a wonderful and lovely christmas with all of my family
no bithcing. no whining. no fighting.
just hanging out, being grateful that we could all be together
like it should always be
then, to put the icing on the awesome year cake- liz and adam were in town for new years
unseasonably  warm weather
impromptu college style party on a wednesday night
a very unexpected and much needed thursday night, after the worst day ever of shopping
liz, can you say sweatshirt dress?
and just to seal the deal, my favorite new years ever
amazing food, great music, photoshoot gone wild, girltalk dance party and best of all, my amazing friends
i am sure i forgot plenty, but it was a great year.

i love new years.
i love new beginnings.
i love clean slates.
but more than anything, i love that i didn't need one this year.

this was a year of accomplishments for me
and i can't tell you quite how good that feels.

we started 2011 off by painting the living room and dining room.
going to the antique mall to get some things for the walls.
planning out a week's worth of meals.
going to the store.
going to the gym.

and i picked thursday as my  blog day.

happy new year friends.
i wish you the best in 2011.