bad blogger! bad!

i am a bad blogger.

but what can i say? it's summer. i have been busy...and i am totally off my usual routine.
i am writing to you from the dining room/library/craft room/office of my new apartment.
if you have ever been to my old apartment then you can understand how spacious this place has to be to have that much shit in one room. gretchen, myself and the ladies (that is right....four fluffy furry feline friends) moved to hyde park at the beginning of june. gretch all ready lived over here...and although i do miss w.39th... i love it here too. our place feels like home. it is warm and inviting and full of art and books and sunlight. plus it has two balconies, central air, a full size fridge, hardwoods, a mantel, a dishwasher and a fucking garbage disposal.amazing. i am a hard one to please.
oh. and nonsmoking. that is right. it is hard to write and not smoke. it is making it hard for me to concentrate.
so i smoked...outside and remembered all the shit i should be doing.
so off i go. laundry. cleaning. unload dishwasher.
liz comes home from dubai tomorrow. it feels so great to know that she will again be on the same mass of land as me. i wonder what it is like to come home to all of this.

all right.

oh. before i go i would just like to say that if anyone is reading this that knew jana mackey that my deepest condolences go out to you.i had met her once. but that was enough to know that what everyone says about her is true. it is a great loss to her family, friends and the community. in the wake of her loss we should all take a moment and think about something you can do to make this world a better place. that could mean cleaner, greener, safer, more understanding, more loving-compassionate-open, fed, watered or kept clean.
there is something we can can do.
after months of waiting i received two profiles of girls that could be my little sister. i picked the one i thought i could do the most good for. for what i know of her (from a three page summary) she is a happy kid. she just happens to have a single mom that works in the evening. her mom is not much older than me. when the profile told me about the values of her family, her mother wrote that she wants to instill values of independence, right and wrong and letting her daughter know that she can do and become anything that she wants. this is something i can help with. this is something i understand. these are the values that were instilled in me. i think they are priceless. they are my foundation. and as i think about how much these values mean to me, and in the wake of losing a person like jana, i can't help but be a little disappointed in my lack of doing and becoming anything i want.

i hope to change that very soon.

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