i hate bargain shopping...but i do love a good sale

so i went shopping...

last week i was reading an article in real simple about how anticipating a purchase releases dopamine..the same feel-good chemical released from sex or really good food.
i don't know that shopping does that for me.
it actually makes me really anxious.
i like to do research before hand and have a good idea of what i am wanting, where i am going to get it and how much i am going to spend going into it.
even with this preparation i often have buyer's remorse before i even finalize the purchase.
and usually there isn't a lot to be remorseful about.
i can't remember my last ridiculous splurge...
well, yes i can...it was when amanda and i got drunk and went shopping but that was YEARS ago....
it was time for some new clothes.
i have one pair of jeans that i wear.
and they are my $20 wet seal jeans that are going to die soon...and aren't appropriate with everything.
after i broke down and bought my mom-shorts (think mom jeans, but shorts...i was buying whatever it took to not have a muffin top. they are bad, but were on sale)i gave into the fact that my body has changed and juniors shit just isn't going to cut it.
not unless i want to live my adult life with my ass crack hanging out of my pants.

so..new body (grrr...still have some work to do there)...
new season...
new clothes.


i was inspired by gap's 30% off friends and family sale.
i do not have the patience for digging through racks of clearance crap.
but if i can have a discount on whatever i want, i am in.
before going in i set a budget:
$50 post discount
or $100 post discount if i bought jeans.
i am usually not a HUGE fan of gap jeans.
i have always been sad that long & leans don't fit me and usually chalked it up to the fact that i am neither long nor lean....all though i think that is what they are supposed to do for you.
anyway...
gap redesigned all of their jeans, and wouldn't you know...now the long and leans fit!
so i scooped me up a pair!

i tried on many things and pondered long and hard about what to purchase and what not to...
this was an option that i wavered on until the very end.
and now that i look at it again i am a little bummed i didn't get it.

in it's place i did get four pairs of super comfy-not super granny-much needed-long awaited new underwear.
i won't post pics.
but they are super comfy.
if you must know you can ask!
i did pick this up

in the clearance section i found a great over sized canvas tote that will be great as an overnight bag, gym bag, carry on....or even for groceries, which i may use it for tonight.


the score of the day was this lovely number

she was one of those finds that is on the rack of crap to be put away and is the only one in the entire store.
it happened to be the right size!!
the zipper is broken and it was already on sale so i got it super cheap!
i think it will be perfect with a short cardigan for the wedding in seattle.
please remind me to take it to the tailors next time you see me.

all in all i spent $126.
not too shabby.
i didn't expect to find a dress, so i allowed myself to go over budget.
not to mention that this is the first time i have spent money on clothes since my birthday.

so for now, i will be laying low and being frugal, while enjoying my new purchases and stalking new ones online.
i would like to get a few more things before the trip.


i also finally bought new shoes for the gym.
i have had my old shoes for YEARS and all though the tread is still wonderfully intact, i don't run...so i don't need running shoes.
in fact, doing zumba in a shoe created for forward motion may be the cause of the knee pain that i have currently been experiencing.
i did some research and found the shoes i wanted.
nike musique IV.
i went to dick's on sunday and after waiting 45 minutes-EVERYONE needed new football cleats on sunday- i tried them on and was very pleased with the fit and feel of them.
they are only offered in white and black...not my favorites, but i went for the black...because they had my size in them.

i can't wait to try them out in class tomorrow!

the other part of the sunday shopping excursion was to petsmart.
gretch found this product called cat attract .
in an attempt to break bacon of her behavioral issue while i try and find her a new home, we figured it was worth a try.
so far things seem to be going well.

with that being said, i do need to find a home for bacon.
she is not happy at my house anymore.
she is a sweet, sweet neck nuzzling girl.
we think she would be best as an only pet in a house that she gets a lot of love in.

as you can see, she is gorgeous.
she is currently shaved for the summer and looks like a wee baby white lion...also very precious.

if you, or someone you know can offer her the home she deserves please contact me.
please think positive thoughts about finding this pretty girl a home.


swap party planning tomorrow....can't wait.

it's sunday. i'm brain dead. enjoy.

i had such high hopes for today.
after a few glasses of wine last night and apparently feeling very ambitious after a productive day, i announced that my schedule for today would be as follows:
wake up...i am sure i was thinking 9 at the latest.
make breakfast.
ride bike to the park.
play tennis.
get boxes.
pack and label shit in bryce's basement
move said shit across the street to where he is living now...camping gear, brewing stuff, rock climbing gear, and a ridiculous amount of tools.
move the bed.
dresser.
clothes.
organize and find homes for all of this stuff.
go to my apartment and throw the love seat and chair over the balcony and drag them to the street so they can be picked up the bulky trash guys tomorrow.
order pizza.
eat pizza.
play tiger woods.
sleep.

i had high hopes.
after this declaration i continued to drink wine with friends.
ate a lovely home made dinner...that i didn't make.
then had some coffee...with baileys.
then some tequila.
and a little more tequila.
and they maybe some more coffee
the last of the friends left a little after 3:00.
i woke up around 9:30...wishing i could have slept for the rest of the morning.
got up.
picked up the remnants of last night.
bryce made really tasty breakfast (pretty sure he is a much better cook than i am. which is fine with me. i am way better at doing dishes than he is).
i made more coffee.
ate.
showered.
pressed on with the days plan knowing that the biking/tennis/athletic portion of the day had clearly been canceled.
went to get storage boxes.
check.
but then the tired hit.
and the yawns began.
and my legs didn't want to hold my body up anymore.
and the hint of nausea i had been trying to ignore all day finally got my attention
but onward we went.
me-attempting to keep myself motivate by verbalizing my desire to still complete a good portion of the days plans.
bryce- patiently letting me bullshit about this (between yawns and declarations of fatige) and not pointing out how ridiculous i am for thinking i am going to get anything done in my current state.
half way through figuring out what printer he should get i threw in the towel for the afternoon.

i hope it didn't look at pathetic as it sounds.

which brings us to now.
to do list updates:
drink gatorade.
nap.
do nothing.
throw couch and chair away.
drink water.
maybe move some of bryces shit...probably just his bed.
drink water.
eat something greasy.
play tiger woods.
and sleep.

i feel pretty useless, super lazy and a little disappointed in my lack of productivity.
but at the same time i don't fucking care.
every one needs a lazy day.
i had a great time last night.
i got some shit done.
i am relaxing.
i am watching tv.
i will get a little more shit done before i sleep.
and i even blogged.

where am i going with this?
no clue.
i think i am going to watch crap tv and nap.
one more thing off the list!

hope you are having a productive/lazy/fulfilling sunday.



OOOOH! update: i got the sweater from the last post, but not in mustard. it was too orangey in person. i got the brown. mmmmm.

mama needs new (or slightly used) shoes damnit!

money. i hate you. you ruin me.
yet i do not seem to be in any kind of rush to earn more of it.
when i am getting paid all five fifths of my salary i do all right.
my life is not lavish, but i can splurge on a few things here and there.
but with the car payment and the pay cut those splurges are few and far between
*sigh- woe is me

i can't believe you guys let me get away with bitching about this mundane shit.
i mean in the grand scheme of things, i have it good!

anyway....

fall is creeping up on us(all though i am not convinced that summer ever really got here-which is okay by me)and i love fall clothes.

i think it is my favorite season to get dressed in….
jeans.
light sweaters.
hoodies.
boots.
sandals.
layers.
the start of scarf season.
mmmmm...
my wish list has all ready begun, all though the finances of it all really put a damper on it.
just like when any new season rolls around, i find myself asking “what the fuck did i wear last insert season here?”
also, each season i like to get a couple key pieces to update my wardrobe from the year before.
then i round out the rest at target .
i am really loving the gap’s boyfriend line.
i have found what i hope to be my first purchase

i may have a mustard yellow addiction to rival my purple fit from last fall/winter.
what can i say? i am a sucker for jewel tones.

and apparently black is the new black this fall.
praise jesus!

this morning i turned to miss. carlew to complain about my lack of wardrobe and lack of money to do anything about it.
feeling equality as broke and unsatisfied by her wardrobe she suggested a swap party!
recently i was invited to a swap by a friend, but was not able to make it.
you can host a swap for a number of things...books, cds, housecrap...
ours will be for clothes and accessories.
everyone brings a certain number of goods and then you take turns picking out things from what everyone else brings.
needless to say, I LOVE party planning!
and i am excited to get rid of some things that are wasting away in my closet.
it seems so much easier to get rid of that blouse that has never been worn, when it is going to a good home.


part of a successful swap is inviting people that are roughly the same size, so if you aren’t invited, it isn’t because we don’t love you, it is because you are too fucking skinny!
expect this to be happening before my vacation.
that is right!
VAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!
bryce and I are going to seattle for 10 days around labor day!
his sister is getting married, so we decided to turn it into a vacation.
i can’t wait.
i have never been to the northwest, yet have always had a fondness for it…

going into this swap i have high hopes for jeans, light sweaters and maybe even a dress!
i have a ton of purses and shoes to part with and some cute stuff that just isn't me...or doesn't fit!



also, as a side note…i miss blogging.
i hate that i don’t do it more.
perhaps i need to set aside time in my life specifically for it.
i am going to leave myself with this thought (since I may look at my blog more than anyone else…) that also came up in conversation with sarah…

when am I ever going to follow a freaking dream?

“we have been friends together in sunshine and in shade.”

(quote by caroline norton)

i know i have said it a lot lately.
but i really mean it...and whenever it is time for us to come together-be it a birthday party, a promotion, a layoff, or a loss- i feel overwhelmingly grateful and, for lack of a better word, blessed by my amazing and caring friends. all though all of us have varying levels of friendship with each other, when one of us is in need, all of us are there.
not every one is fortunate enough to have this kind of chosen family.
and i could burst with the amount of love i have for you all.



to my beans... i love you.
you are stronger than anyone will ever know.
you are an amazing woman.
your mother was an incredible woman who raised two strong, beautiful, independent, intelligent, sweet, amazing daughters. one of whom i am lucky to call a best friend. i daily reap the benefits of the values she has instilled in you.
her laughter was infectious and i am lucky to have the memories i have with her.
may these next two days allow you some closure, some peace and a time to celebrate the life of your mother.
i know that no words are the right words at a time like this....
you and your family are in my thoughts always.

the plan...an update

i am about three weeks into the plan and things are going all right.
the scale seems to be sitting at about 163, but i am not dreading putting on pants lately.
i feel better just knowing that i am doing something about it.
i have not been getting as much cardio (aka zumba) in as i want...i KNOW jeanee, we have THREE options now.
but have enjoyed the addition of morning walks on tuesday and thursday.
my energy level on some days is a little low.
still getting used to the getting up early and since i don't stick to it EVERY day i feel like i give my body a hard time.
my partner in crime has fallen off the early morning workout bandwagon, which also makes it hard to get up.
i find that if i have someone meeting me i will get up.
don't want to be late!
don't want to break plans!
jill and i have received some great support from the guys at the gym.
there are still those douche bags that look at us like we are in their way.
but they can fuck off.
one of our favorite instructors and trainers, keith, seems to always have a client when jill and i are lifting.
he always drops words of encouragement when he passes us.
and has made it a point to make us feel great about lifting.
knowing that he is supportive is a good reassurance.
he won't let us walk around looking like crazy, buff women.
another guy at the gym yesterday came over when we were doing our bench presses to tell us how impressed he is to see girls on the bench.
he also pointed out that we should get gloves so we won't have "man hands".
i couldn't agree more.
last night keith helped us out with our form on a few things between his client and his class.
he also told us about "the new rules of lifting for women" .
the slogan is "lift like a man. look like a goddess."
ha!
there is also a "forum" for the book.
everything that i have read looks very inspiring.
it has six months worth of work outs, with pictures and explanations of how to perform the lifts, as well as a nutrition guide.
so many girls, including myself, are scared of bulking up.
but the more i read the more it becomes clear that it will not happen.
and it is amazing that you can get so much out of so little time at the gym.

i still feel the same way-i don't think that the scale is going to be the indication of success for me.

the cooking has been going well.
the weekends still get a little out of control...
but at least i am thinking about what it is going to do to me.

i hope to pick up this book tonight.
i am a little afraid to get it before i finish the book club read, but i just can't wait to dig in.

i hope the rain isn't getting you too down...
it will be ninety before you know it.

where are my words?

it kills me to know that you are hurting.
and that there is nothing i can do to fix it.
or ease it.
or make it better.
i wish i could take it on for you.
absorb it.
but i can't.

i don't even know if i am doing a good job being here for you.

i don't even know what to say to you.
i just want to hold onto you and hope that you can feel my empathy.
i wish i could just hug the hurting away.
but i can't.

i hope the pain dulls.
i hope this weekend offers you some kind of closure.
some kind of peace.
and a chance to say goodbye...

i don't know why it is so hard for me to spit out.
i don't think i have said anything to your face.
when you told me all i could spit out was your name.
i can hardly find the words now...talking to a screen that i don't even think you read.

babe, i am so sorry for your loss. so sorry for your pain. so very, very sorry....
i feel so much more than that, but that is all that i can seem to get out.
i am so sorry.

thankful and bitter

so i still have a job.
well...4/5ths of a job.

for the past two years of working at penton i have has summer hours.
this wonderful little gift of paid half days every other friday between memorial day and labor day.
last summer we had full days off to lift our spirits after the salary freeze went into effect.
with summer starting to creep into our minds we all began to wonder about summer hours.
surely they would give them to us.
we are still in a salary freeze and moral around here is shit.
this is the one thing they can do for us that doesn't cost them anything.
surely....

WRONG.
oh, we are still getting fridays off this summer.
in fact we get EVERY friday off.
and we don't get paid for them either.
around 2:30 yesterday a random meeting reminder for something that i knew was not previously on my calendar popped up.
"company wide announcement"
summer hours??- was my first thought
then i remembered that in corporate america they send company wide good news in emails.
and company wide bad news comes in department meetings, to make us feel like they care about us individually...followed by an email outlining the shittiness.
you can take a gander at ours here

if you read through all that bullshit, which i myself have not yet, you will see that we have some options.
we can take a 18.5% pay cut between may 22 and september 4.
or a 9.85% pay cut between may 22 and the end of 2009.
i have until the 15th to decide.
intense ass raping for three months?
or moderate paycheck molestation for the end of the year?

decisions...decisions...

the good news...
i have every friday off this summer.
my vacation days will go further than they did last year.
i still don't think i will get laid off.

the bad news...
money...isn't it always the bad news?

at this point my main concern is paying my car payment.
and getting my ass to colorado this summer.

so if you know anyone that needs a friday baby sitter, let me know.