this is the thing about relationships...or one of the things...at least the thing i have recently noticed...
just because you love someone does not automatically make them just like you. what you may need more of the other person may not. and what may not be important to you could be very important to the person you love. and you must realize this and be able to embrace it without compromising yourself.
otherwise it just doesn't work. no matter how much love there is.
you cannot lose yourself in love or you sacrifice your own happiness.
8.28.2008
7.17.2008
a random musical fyi
concerts of interest coming up….
my morning jacket @ the uptown 8/18
okkervil river @ the bottleneck 9/12
cut copy @ recordbar 9/15
beck and MGMT @ the uptown 9/29
stars @ the granada 9/26
girl talk @ the granada 11/1
of montreal @ liberty hall 11/15
i currently have tickets to beck and girl talk…the rest are pending budget modifications. i will do my damndest to make it to stars and okkervil river
i spent my morning yesterday checking out music i had not listened to before.
the play list included the following:
daedelus
born ruffians
fleet foxes
the brian Jonestown massacre
cut copy
she and him
...then i listened to the new sigur ros over and over again. i adore it. the first song feels like summer and road trips and running through fields with friends. and how can you not love a song called gobbledigook? come on!
there are also new albums out from the faint, the walkmen, girl talk, ladytron and I am sure plenty others that I am missing..
Don’t forget to check out the new radiohead video for house of cards.
…the boys are doing everything their own way. o love it.
what’s new in your music life?
my morning jacket @ the uptown 8/18
okkervil river @ the bottleneck 9/12
cut copy @ recordbar 9/15
beck and MGMT @ the uptown 9/29
stars @ the granada 9/26
girl talk @ the granada 11/1
of montreal @ liberty hall 11/15
i currently have tickets to beck and girl talk…the rest are pending budget modifications. i will do my damndest to make it to stars and okkervil river
i spent my morning yesterday checking out music i had not listened to before.
the play list included the following:
daedelus
born ruffians
fleet foxes
the brian Jonestown massacre
cut copy
she and him
...then i listened to the new sigur ros over and over again. i adore it. the first song feels like summer and road trips and running through fields with friends. and how can you not love a song called gobbledigook? come on!
there are also new albums out from the faint, the walkmen, girl talk, ladytron and I am sure plenty others that I am missing..
Don’t forget to check out the new radiohead video for house of cards.
…the boys are doing everything their own way. o love it.
what’s new in your music life?
7.14.2008
bad blogger! bad!
i am a bad blogger.
baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad.
but what can i say? it's summer. i have been busy...and i am totally off my usual routine.
i am writing to you from the dining room/library/craft room/office of my new apartment.
if you have ever been to my old apartment then you can understand how spacious this place has to be to have that much shit in one room. gretchen, myself and the ladies (that is right....four fluffy furry feline friends) moved to hyde park at the beginning of june. gretch all ready lived over here...and although i do miss w.39th... i love it here too. our place feels like home. it is warm and inviting and full of art and books and sunlight. plus it has two balconies, central air, a full size fridge, hardwoods, a mantel, a dishwasher and a fucking garbage disposal.amazing. i am a hard one to please.
oh. and nonsmoking. that is right. it is hard to write and not smoke. it is making it hard for me to concentrate.
so i smoked...outside and remembered all the shit i should be doing.
so off i go. laundry. cleaning. unload dishwasher.
liz comes home from dubai tomorrow. it feels so great to know that she will again be on the same mass of land as me. i wonder what it is like to come home to all of this.
all right.
oh. before i go i would just like to say that if anyone is reading this that knew jana mackey that my deepest condolences go out to you.i had met her once. but that was enough to know that what everyone says about her is true. it is a great loss to her family, friends and the community. in the wake of her loss we should all take a moment and think about something you can do to make this world a better place. that could mean cleaner, greener, safer, more understanding, more loving-compassionate-open, fed, watered or kept clean.
there is something we can can do.
after months of waiting i received two profiles of girls that could be my little sister. i picked the one i thought i could do the most good for. for what i know of her (from a three page summary) she is a happy kid. she just happens to have a single mom that works in the evening. her mom is not much older than me. when the profile told me about the values of her family, her mother wrote that she wants to instill values of independence, right and wrong and letting her daughter know that she can do and become anything that she wants. this is something i can help with. this is something i understand. these are the values that were instilled in me. i think they are priceless. they are my foundation. and as i think about how much these values mean to me, and in the wake of losing a person like jana, i can't help but be a little disappointed in my lack of doing and becoming anything i want.
i hope to change that very soon.
baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad.
but what can i say? it's summer. i have been busy...and i am totally off my usual routine.
i am writing to you from the dining room/library/craft room/office of my new apartment.
if you have ever been to my old apartment then you can understand how spacious this place has to be to have that much shit in one room. gretchen, myself and the ladies (that is right....four fluffy furry feline friends) moved to hyde park at the beginning of june. gretch all ready lived over here...and although i do miss w.39th... i love it here too. our place feels like home. it is warm and inviting and full of art and books and sunlight. plus it has two balconies, central air, a full size fridge, hardwoods, a mantel, a dishwasher and a fucking garbage disposal.amazing. i am a hard one to please.
oh. and nonsmoking. that is right. it is hard to write and not smoke. it is making it hard for me to concentrate.
so i smoked...outside and remembered all the shit i should be doing.
so off i go. laundry. cleaning. unload dishwasher.
liz comes home from dubai tomorrow. it feels so great to know that she will again be on the same mass of land as me. i wonder what it is like to come home to all of this.
all right.
oh. before i go i would just like to say that if anyone is reading this that knew jana mackey that my deepest condolences go out to you.i had met her once. but that was enough to know that what everyone says about her is true. it is a great loss to her family, friends and the community. in the wake of her loss we should all take a moment and think about something you can do to make this world a better place. that could mean cleaner, greener, safer, more understanding, more loving-compassionate-open, fed, watered or kept clean.
there is something we can can do.
after months of waiting i received two profiles of girls that could be my little sister. i picked the one i thought i could do the most good for. for what i know of her (from a three page summary) she is a happy kid. she just happens to have a single mom that works in the evening. her mom is not much older than me. when the profile told me about the values of her family, her mother wrote that she wants to instill values of independence, right and wrong and letting her daughter know that she can do and become anything that she wants. this is something i can help with. this is something i understand. these are the values that were instilled in me. i think they are priceless. they are my foundation. and as i think about how much these values mean to me, and in the wake of losing a person like jana, i can't help but be a little disappointed in my lack of doing and becoming anything i want.
i hope to change that very soon.
5.02.2008
o.p.p.p.
other people's pet's piss
so....i am sure most of you all ready know this, but while i was on vacation i ended up with my neighbor's cat in my apartment. even after i made it as clear as possible that i was going out of town, her cat still managed to do as he pleased...and she still managed to be a total moron.
when erin went over to feed clem and bacon she found romeo in my apartment and a pile of shit on a blanket on my futon. erin was baffled as to how romeo...the cat...got into my apartment, since the screen doors were shut. she (i love you erin) cleaned up the shit and removed the blanket and went down to return the cat and, of course, the neighbor was not home. she called me on vacation. i was shit faced on the beach. it was saturday and erin was working that night. so i call the neighbor and left her a message that i was away on vacation, as i told her, and that her cat ended up in my apartment, so if she wanted to get him before tomorrow night she would have to go to the bar, get my keys from erin, get her cat and take the keys back...which she did. when i came home on monday i went to julie's birthday party and then came home and went to bed. tuesday night gretchen and i signed our lease (oooh! i need to tell you about the new place) and then met jill at harry's to celebrate and soak in the nice weather. jill and i went back to my place for mac and cheese and i discovered a large pile of shit hiding in the blanket on my couch. now if you have a pet you know what your pets shit looks like. it is just part of the gig. i don't think it is possible for either of the ladies to deliver a BM of that size. i cleaned it up and put the blanket with the other soiled one and headed to my room to catch up on the office. after zumba on wednesday it was my turn to have the ladies over for dinner. they all sat in the dining room while i was cooking. after dinner we retired to the living room. for the first time since being home i was finally going to be able to relax in my living room...i sat on the futon with loren and immediately smelled it. we sat on the edge and tried to ignore it, but it stunk. when loren and amanda left i sat on the couch with jill....it stunk too. so as jill was leaving a febreezed the hell out of both of them and went to bed. when i got home from the gym last night i took the covers off. in the light i can see that what i thought was pee is spray. a cat is not able to cover the entire back AND seat of my couch with urine. male cat spray. great.
i can barely stand to be in that room at all.
landlord says it isn't his fault.
renters insurance doesn't cover damage by animals.
the neighbor is at work and will call me tonight.
my mom has suggested white wine vinnegar. just how i wanted to spend my friday....cleaning up someone else's animal's piss out of my furniture.
i am lucky clem and bacon haven't started peeing too.
i hope i can get the smell out.
i really just want it gone.
i can't wait to move.
update:
my neighbor is being really cool about the situation. this makes it all a lot less stressful.
my apartment now smells like vinegar...and i hope it works.
when erin went over to feed clem and bacon she found romeo in my apartment and a pile of shit on a blanket on my futon. erin was baffled as to how romeo...the cat...got into my apartment, since the screen doors were shut. she (i love you erin) cleaned up the shit and removed the blanket and went down to return the cat and, of course, the neighbor was not home. she called me on vacation. i was shit faced on the beach. it was saturday and erin was working that night. so i call the neighbor and left her a message that i was away on vacation, as i told her, and that her cat ended up in my apartment, so if she wanted to get him before tomorrow night she would have to go to the bar, get my keys from erin, get her cat and take the keys back...which she did. when i came home on monday i went to julie's birthday party and then came home and went to bed. tuesday night gretchen and i signed our lease (oooh! i need to tell you about the new place) and then met jill at harry's to celebrate and soak in the nice weather. jill and i went back to my place for mac and cheese and i discovered a large pile of shit hiding in the blanket on my couch. now if you have a pet you know what your pets shit looks like. it is just part of the gig. i don't think it is possible for either of the ladies to deliver a BM of that size. i cleaned it up and put the blanket with the other soiled one and headed to my room to catch up on the office. after zumba on wednesday it was my turn to have the ladies over for dinner. they all sat in the dining room while i was cooking. after dinner we retired to the living room. for the first time since being home i was finally going to be able to relax in my living room...i sat on the futon with loren and immediately smelled it. we sat on the edge and tried to ignore it, but it stunk. when loren and amanda left i sat on the couch with jill....it stunk too. so as jill was leaving a febreezed the hell out of both of them and went to bed. when i got home from the gym last night i took the covers off. in the light i can see that what i thought was pee is spray. a cat is not able to cover the entire back AND seat of my couch with urine. male cat spray. great.
i can barely stand to be in that room at all.
landlord says it isn't his fault.
renters insurance doesn't cover damage by animals.
the neighbor is at work and will call me tonight.
my mom has suggested white wine vinnegar. just how i wanted to spend my friday....cleaning up someone else's animal's piss out of my furniture.
i am lucky clem and bacon haven't started peeing too.
i hope i can get the smell out.
i really just want it gone.
i can't wait to move.
update:
my neighbor is being really cool about the situation. this makes it all a lot less stressful.
my apartment now smells like vinegar...and i hope it works.
4.22.2008
costco sells coffins.
isn' t that weird?
go to costco.com and search for coffin. i would give you the link but i am too lazy. you can get your coffin expedited for those unplanned deaths and standard for when you know they are going to kick the bucket. you can also purchase urns for human ashes, urns for pet ashes and keepsakes (what ever the fuck those are).
speaking of pets...
my neighbors fucking catS were INSIDE my apartment when i got home.
since the last post, romeo found his way onto my deck again and the neighbor gave me a flower and a note thanking me for taking care of her cats and that hopefully it would stop soon.
well maybe it would stop soon if she...oh...i don't know.....DID SOMETHING ABOUT IT?
anyway...i came home from work, grabbed laundry, hung out with mo and did laundry at her place, met friends at the p&l (more on that at a later date)...and got home around 10:30. i had left my screen door cracked so my cats could enjoy my balcony in this wonderful weather. when i opened my door bacon was sitting on the back of the futon and then i saw romeo in my dressing room and then a black cat came bounding out of my room...this cat was not clem, it was too big...and as soon as i process that thought here comes clementine tearing after this other cat.
clem is a badass bitch.
so i get both her cats on the balcony. my cats are pissed...clem was at the door hissing and growling at the other cats, bacon was hissing at everything.
i went downstairs...negligent cat mom was not home. i came back up and wrote her a letter on post its explaining that both her cats were on my balcony and gave her my number to call me. i also explained to her that i was going to be out of town for a number of days and that she should probably make sure they don't get on my balcony or i don't know how she will get them back.
then i came into my room and the other black cat jumped on to my window sill...thank god there are two windows and not just one like with the kitchen window...so i pop the screen out, get the cat, throw it in my bathroom. clem is going nuts at the door. bacon is hissing at me and clem and the door. at this point i go back down and write her a fourth post it telling her to call me no matter what time is was. that my cats were going crazy and i wasn't sure what to do with hers.
just when i am about to recreate the makeshift litter box from before, she called. and came up and got them. i carried one down for her. i asked her if she had called the landlord and she said no.
moron.
i told you your cat almost died before and you still don't want to get it fixed? she said she thought she could fix it herself. when i took the cat to her apartment i realized that maybe she didn't want apartment people in there because she has cut circles out of her bedroom door. a good half of the way up. really? (it looks like she traced the bottom of a beer can. great idea...if you own the door you are cutting them out of)
maybe if you spent half of the time it took you to cut holes in your door on patching the goddamn hole in the wall then we wouldn't be in this situation?!?
i once again explained to her obviously aloof self that i would not be here for the next few days and that the cats will be stuck there.
i highly doubt she will do anything. all she needs to do is buy a hook and eye latch and put it where the cats can't reach it. i know, i know, it is rocket science. i am asking a lot here.
after all this shit is done i hear a dog whining...and then barking...and then all the other dogs in the building start barking.
i love animals. it is cruel to keep your big dog locked up in a tiny apartment like this. and if you feel that it is appropriate have some fucking respect for those of us that live here.
i can't wait when i move out to tell them about how i am leaving because of the dogs and i am afraid my med school rock band obsessed weirdo neighbor is going to burn down the building grilling on his wood deck with a synthetic blend awning overhead. that isn't really the reason...but it easily could be.
what all of this has to do with coffins i do not know.
go to costco.com and search for coffin. i would give you the link but i am too lazy. you can get your coffin expedited for those unplanned deaths and standard for when you know they are going to kick the bucket. you can also purchase urns for human ashes, urns for pet ashes and keepsakes (what ever the fuck those are).
speaking of pets...
my neighbors fucking catS were INSIDE my apartment when i got home.
since the last post, romeo found his way onto my deck again and the neighbor gave me a flower and a note thanking me for taking care of her cats and that hopefully it would stop soon.
well maybe it would stop soon if she...oh...i don't know.....DID SOMETHING ABOUT IT?
anyway...i came home from work, grabbed laundry, hung out with mo and did laundry at her place, met friends at the p&l (more on that at a later date)...and got home around 10:30. i had left my screen door cracked so my cats could enjoy my balcony in this wonderful weather. when i opened my door bacon was sitting on the back of the futon and then i saw romeo in my dressing room and then a black cat came bounding out of my room...this cat was not clem, it was too big...and as soon as i process that thought here comes clementine tearing after this other cat.
clem is a badass bitch.
so i get both her cats on the balcony. my cats are pissed...clem was at the door hissing and growling at the other cats, bacon was hissing at everything.
i went downstairs...negligent cat mom was not home. i came back up and wrote her a letter on post its explaining that both her cats were on my balcony and gave her my number to call me. i also explained to her that i was going to be out of town for a number of days and that she should probably make sure they don't get on my balcony or i don't know how she will get them back.
then i came into my room and the other black cat jumped on to my window sill...thank god there are two windows and not just one like with the kitchen window...so i pop the screen out, get the cat, throw it in my bathroom. clem is going nuts at the door. bacon is hissing at me and clem and the door. at this point i go back down and write her a fourth post it telling her to call me no matter what time is was. that my cats were going crazy and i wasn't sure what to do with hers.
just when i am about to recreate the makeshift litter box from before, she called. and came up and got them. i carried one down for her. i asked her if she had called the landlord and she said no.
moron.
i told you your cat almost died before and you still don't want to get it fixed? she said she thought she could fix it herself. when i took the cat to her apartment i realized that maybe she didn't want apartment people in there because she has cut circles out of her bedroom door. a good half of the way up. really? (it looks like she traced the bottom of a beer can. great idea...if you own the door you are cutting them out of)
maybe if you spent half of the time it took you to cut holes in your door on patching the goddamn hole in the wall then we wouldn't be in this situation?!?
i once again explained to her obviously aloof self that i would not be here for the next few days and that the cats will be stuck there.
i highly doubt she will do anything. all she needs to do is buy a hook and eye latch and put it where the cats can't reach it. i know, i know, it is rocket science. i am asking a lot here.
after all this shit is done i hear a dog whining...and then barking...and then all the other dogs in the building start barking.
i love animals. it is cruel to keep your big dog locked up in a tiny apartment like this. and if you feel that it is appropriate have some fucking respect for those of us that live here.
i can't wait when i move out to tell them about how i am leaving because of the dogs and i am afraid my med school rock band obsessed weirdo neighbor is going to burn down the building grilling on his wood deck with a synthetic blend awning overhead. that isn't really the reason...but it easily could be.
what all of this has to do with coffins i do not know.
4.20.2008
why do people that wear their pants halfway down their ass wear a belt?
7:15 am alarm........2.something mile earth walk....too much coffee....breakfast with the peeps....db coopers...gilhoulys....
drinking with co workers...dance party at my place
attempted dancing at jilly's. apparently it wasn't open. then to 180 where we found out dusty hates acid jazz...no seats at harry's...everyone bails but dusty, gretch and me. next up:fucking buzzard.
spotted a heard of 23 year olds...gretch asked to rip ones shirt off...it was a snap button get up with a horrid gray wife beater under...i mean the top shirt was white for fuck sake. he was a cancer....from 1984. cancers. eh. i told him i was a gemini from 1972....he said i looked good. i told him i use expensive face cream. if i look good for 35 apparently i need to use expensive face cream too....i am 25 after all.
idiot at buzzard. i really should know better.
drinking with co workers...dance party at my place
attempted dancing at jilly's. apparently it wasn't open. then to 180 where we found out dusty hates acid jazz...no seats at harry's...everyone bails but dusty, gretch and me. next up:fucking buzzard.
spotted a heard of 23 year olds...gretch asked to rip ones shirt off...it was a snap button get up with a horrid gray wife beater under...i mean the top shirt was white for fuck sake. he was a cancer....from 1984. cancers. eh. i told him i was a gemini from 1972....he said i looked good. i told him i use expensive face cream. if i look good for 35 apparently i need to use expensive face cream too....i am 25 after all.
idiot at buzzard. i really should know better.
4.17.2008
spring cleaning
i bitched about it being rainy and blah all day at work, but now that i am home i am so thankful for it. a cleansing that has been much needed. if i didn't have plans tonight i would just paint...even though i should be cleaning and almost every item of clothing i own is dirty.
i am glad my bed hasn't been transformed to a water bed...i really should close my windows when i go to work. i will never learn. it is okay.
i am glad my bed hasn't been transformed to a water bed...i really should close my windows when i go to work. i will never learn. it is okay.
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